Is there such a thing as a hairdressing escort? Cos if there is – I NEED one. I need someone to come along to the hairdresser with me, stay with me till the end of the event, and make sure I leave that place feeling satisfied!
I don’t know what it is, but I just can’t seem to nail getting the actual cut I go in there asking for.
I broke up with my hairdresser
My last long-term hairdressing relationship ended badly. I went in—baby capsule in tow—asking for what was essentially a trim – just a cut that would leave my hair long enough to put into the requisite new mummy ponytail.
Well, he got talking about how he was about to start a course in real estate (should have been my red flag right there) and he chopped right across the back of my head at the nape of my neck. Bye-bye ponytail.
“Well I can’t put it back on!”
… he said all defensively when I reminded him I wanted to keep it long. His fix was to just trim the next couple of layers above that so they were long enough to put in a ponytail … and then act like that was his plan all along.
Yup, a dual layer cut from the 80s was his plan. And then he charged me. FULL PRICE. That was the end of the relationship.
My name is Deborah and I’m a hairdressing tart
So now, part of the problem is that I’m a hairdressing tart. I have been ever since the break-up.
I have been tarting around, slipping in and out of hairdresser relationships, looking for THE ONE.
The event cut
Another part of the problem is that I go for the event cut. I’m way too disorganised and lazy to stick to a six-weekly regime. I just book my cuts around events.
So if I have a special function to go to, I book in a haircut for the day before. This, I know, is fraught with danger.
When I did this for one of my cuts last year, I went in and asked for a repeat of the cut I’d been adopting for a while. A bit flicky-uppy at the ends, and layered in a little below my ears. I ended up with a Carol Brady. The worst of Carol Brady. Below the ears, above the ears … same-same according to that hairdresser.
I need help
And then last time I went in to get a cut because I was going out the following night, I realised that I just can’t keep doing this alone.
After my woeful Carol Brady cut, the trauma has seen me leaving it grow longer and longer, but I decided … on the spur of the moment while I was sitting there … to get a decent chop.
I asked for it to rest on my shoulders, still long enough to go in a ponytail, a bit longer at the front, wedged in a little at the back, and a bit of a cut-in one side below my ear. Below my ear was reiterated several times.
I ended up with a bob. Not a sassy little Lara Bingle bob. A Ruth-Cracknell-on-Mother-and-Son bob. How the hell did that even happen? Oh it was below my ear alright. All of it. Just below my ear. I look fabulous! For an eighty-year-old!
Did I stand up for myself?
And did I say anything? Did I protest and say no that wasn’t what I asked for?
Did I say this is about four inches shorter than where I pointed to? Did I say the back is barely a millimetre shorter than the front? Did I say – “you call that a wedge?”
No, none of these things. I said nothing.
Did I smile and nod when she asked me if I liked it? Yes. Yes I did.
So now I’ll have to tart myself around somewhere else, because this hairdresser now thinks I love a good old Ruth Cracknell bob.
Who has a great hairdresser in Brisbane? Can anyone escort and translate for me?
Australian author, Deborah Disney, practised as a litigation lawyer prior to finding her true calling in the school pick-up line where she started typing a little story on the notes app on her iPhone one afternoon.
Deborah’s first novel, “Up and In”, hit the bestseller charts on both Amazon and iBooks and has enjoyed international acclaim. Deborah is currently working on her second novel, which is about in-laws. You can connect with Deborah anytime on Facebook. You can find “Up and In” on Amazon – http://bit.ly/VZBYXD