Can we women really have it all? Groan, I know, I know we’ve heard this one before…move on!
Seriously though, I’d like to talk a little bit more about this modern-day dilemma, as I still feel that there is a lot of pressure on us as women to be and do everything that our partners/husbands do and more and wonder if we still need to define, what “having it all” even means and is it even realistic?
This is a big question, I know. and the answer is of course subjective because obviously “having it all” will mean very different things to different women.
Speaking for myself, I think that “having it all” means balancing a career that I’m passionate about, finding time for myself and my need to exercise, socialise with friends, etc. while also being present with my kids and partner in the process.
There are only so many hours in the day and I certainly feel that the struggle is real – even. As I write this, I do so while my baby sleeps in my arms and I feel as if I’m constantly on edge, never quite achieving enough or reaching a point where I’m satisfied that I’ve gotten enough “done”.
I know I’m not alone in this feeling. You hear it all the time from other mums who are trying to juggle a million balls all at once and who feel as if they’re drowning or just barely staying afloat.
Thankfully, I had an insightful conversation the other day with one of the mums at my daughter’s childcare centre, where we talked about the idea of returning to work and what our plans were for the future.
The thing that really struck a chord with me, was when the other mum said, “we’re kidding ourselves if we think we can do all the things we did before we had kids”, to which I distinctly remember thinking that, of course, that idea simply did not apply to me.
I have since (humbly) reflected on what she said. It has in fact (quite unexpectedly) brought me a little peace, as I really do struggle with all of the things I feel I “need” to achieve in one day and knowing that it’s ok that I don’t reach whatever unspoken target I have set for myself which really is quite comforting.
So, do I have it all? I think I have everything I could wish for at this stage in my life and I think we probably can still have everything we desire. It just may come in bits and pieces rather than all at once – and that’s ok too.