Happiness. Satisfaction. Well-being. Most of us search for these things. How many actually find them? What DOES create happiness and an overall sense of satisfaction with life? Hard work? Doing things the right way? Luck? Or something else?
Having traveled the world, having talked with thousands of people from various cultures and places, one thing is clear. Happiness is a choice. You either choose it or you don’t. Choose it and your life becomes a satisfying adventure. Don’t choose it, well… welcome to misery.
If you desire to choose happiness, if you would like to have the satisfaction that is available, here are my top four tips on how to find your happy. Best part is, your choice changes everything so use these tools and get happy TODAY!
- Find out what is true for you
The lack of satisfaction in life often starts because we are living someone else’s life; not our own. How much of the life you are living right now is based on other people’s values? How many choices have you made to follow the path others say you should follow rather finding out what is true for you?
Several years ago, I was packing to go on yet another trip. For the 20 years prior to this (and all the years since) I travel around the world continuously. I am rarely home. I started to get cranky about it and decided for about a day that I was tired of all the travel. I wanted to stay home more. It was then that I asked a question. “Who does this belong to?” This is one of my favorite tools. Ninety-eight percent of the thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have are not actually our own. We are like psychic sponges picking up on everyone and everything around. When you ask, “Who does this belong to?” if you suddenly feel lighter, guess what, not yours. If you truly desire happiness, ask this question for every thought, feeling and emotion you have. You may be surprised to find out that you are rarely the unhappy one! You are just aware.
When I asked, “Who does this belong to?” with my upset about traveling, I instantly felt lighter and what I recognized was that this is not actually my point of view. I was honest with myself and acknowledged that I actually love to travel. It lights me up. It is fun for me. Traveling almost continuously as fulfilling may not be a common point of view but it is my point of view and when I allowed myself to have it and choose it, life became happy again.
What is it that YOU love in your life right now that you haven’t allowed yourself to know that you love because other people don’t love it and because you are not supposed to? What if you allowed yourself to know what works for you, what is fun for you, what makes you come alive and then you chose that without apology? How much different would your life be?
- Look for things to add to your life
A common point of view is that stress and unhappiness come from having too much to do. How often have you heard, “You need to slow down. Relax more. Take a vacation.”? Yuck! I hate vacation. I have created a life that I love, that is an adventure every single day. Why would I want a vacation from that?
Oftentimes, boredom or that sense of dissatisfaction is nothing more than recognizing that you desire more, so rather than looking for things to take away from your life, start to look for what you can add. Ask, “What can I add to my life?”
Make a list of all of the things that you enjoy and daily choose to do those things. This is YOUR life. Live it!
- Questions change things fast
The next time you find yourself wearing cranky pants, disrupt the autopilot of your negative thoughts. How? Ask a question. Questions open the door to possibilities.
Here are some questions you can ask:
- What can I be or do different today to change this?
- How does it get any better than this?
- Universe, will you please show me something beautiful today?
- What else is possible here that I’ve never
- Move your body
While it can be easy to stay on the couch watching Netflix when you are feeling less than satisfied, get up and move! Moving your body has a physiological effect on your body. Endorphins are released which can immediately affect your mood. Go for a walk. Ride a bike. Workout with yoga, Pilates, kick boxing or whatever is fun for you. You will feel much better.
Happiness can be your reality. There is not one single thing outside of you that determines your level of happiness. You do and it is your choice that creates it. Find out what is true for you, even if others don’t like the choices you make, add things to your life that are fun and fulfilling, ask questions always and continuously and discover possibilities you didn’t know were available and last but definitely not least, move your body. Your body is a gift that contributes to you every day in so many ways. Honor it with movement it enjoys. Whatever is currently up in your world, use these tools and your life can be a fun and ease-filled adventure.
Dr Dain Heer is a joy-seeking, reality bending author, change-maker and co- creator of Access Consciousness, one of the largest personal development companies practiced in more than 173 countries. For more than twenty years, Heer has travelled the world, sharing his unique insights on relationship, money, happiness and consciousness. Growing up in the ghetto in Los Angeles, Heer was exposed to constant abuse however he never choce to be a victim. In his talks and workshops, he uses a set of tools and provides step by step energetic processes to get people out of the conclusions and judgments that are keeping them stuck on a cycle of no choice and no change- leading them into moments of awe that they have the power to change anything.
She Society is a site for the women of Australia to share our stories, our experiences, shared learnings and opportunities to connect.