Twinkling Christmas trees. Banquets of delicious food. Smiling, loving family members gathered around a pile of beautifully-wrapped gifts. We all know what Christmas is supposed to look like. But what if reality – as it often does – falls short of this ideal? How can we cope if our holiday season is a little (or lot) less than perfect?
Dr Dain Heer is an internationally renowned speaker, best-selling author and co-creator of Access Consciousness®, a popular set of life tools and philosophies. For a truly pleasant and enjoyable Christmas season, he encourages everyone to forget the fairytale images, set expectation aside, and simply set out to be authentic in your celebrations.
“There isn’t only one way to ‘do’ the holidays: how we choose to mark the occasion can be as unique as each of our families are, and yet there’s one thing most of us have in common — the urge to do it right, to tick certain boxes, and to make it perfect”, Dain says.
“What if you were to do it differently this year?” he suggests. “What if you were to focus less on an idealized version of yourself and the season, and more on connection, gratitude, and peace?”
Dain offers the following advice for those wanting to reject perfection and have a joyous and fulfilling Christmas season:
Forget what the holidays should be like That word ‘should’ is really important here: start noticing how often it comes into your thoughts and speech this time of year. Let go of at least one tradition that you uphold because you think you should. For example, if you cook roast beef because your mum always did when actually you’d really love to try something new — go for it. Choose what suits you and your family as it is today.
Take a break from online ideals Give yourself some time off social media, or at least remind yourself that what you’re seeing isn’t real — it’s the selected highlights, carefully posed and seen through a filter.
Be in the moment Perfection is good at taking us out of the present moment. While it’s useful to have a loose plan, don’t stress out if folks aren’t all seated for lunch at 2pm because they’re at a crucial moment in a game of Twister. Instead, when things go off-plan, ask yourself: What will we remember in five years time about this day? That lunch was the perfect temperature, or that we had such a blast playing games together?
Practice allowance and acceptance What if you made a pact for the whole season: to allow everything to just be as it is, wherever it takes you, and however it feels? This means being the rock in the stream, letting everyone else’s opinions flow around you as you stay in place. To help achieve this, replace good and bad judgments with ‘interesting’. If someone criticizes your politics, your choice of dress, your marital
situation, say to yourself, “Interesting point of view, I have this point of view.” This will allow you to accept their opinion (and it is just an opinion!) in a more neutral way.
Dr. Dain Heer is an internationally renowned author, speaker and facilitator of consciousness and change. Co-creator of Access Consciousness, Dr. Heer invites people – from every culture, country, age and social strata of society – to embrace their true greatness. Originally trained as a chiropractor, he has a completely different approach to healing; he facilitates people to tap into and recognize their own abilities and knowing. He is the author of nine books including, Being You, Changing the World, which is now an international bestseller. Follow @dr_dainheer.
SheSociety is a site for the women of Australia to share our stories, our experiences, shared learnings and opportunities to connect.