Confidence depends on our inner voice that tells us whether we’re good enough to achieve something or not. It represents the perceptions we have of ourselves, our beliefs in who we are, and how we value ourselves. However, it can be misaligned with how other people see us.
What is self-estimation?
“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
― Mark Twain
Self-esteem is the way we perceive ourselves, and an important “mechanism” that provides us with more inner stability, less self-sabotage, making us happier and our lives much simpler. While negative self-talk can get us to look less confident to those around us and make us fail when confronted with different problems, positive self-estimation results in more motivation, getting us to pursue the things we really want.
There are many reasons why people experience low confidence. Confidence can also be undermined later in life, due to ill health, general sense of lack of control (victims of discrimination, or physical, sexual, and emotional abuse), and frustrating or deficient relationships, as well as negative life events like divorce or getting fired.
Why is it so important to accept yourself?
“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”
― Ayn Rand
When you accept who you are, you start approving your existence. Self-advocacy and self-acceptance are important in order to stop fighting against yourself, and start fighting for yourself.
You can also stop internalizing the critique from others so much, and prevent your internal conversations to be dominated by negative self-talk. Self-acceptance is not about denying the truth, being egotistical, or an excuse for bad behavior. It is about being at peace with every aspect of your being, regardless of all the shortcomings and perceived flaws. By accepting yourself, you make decisions about personal transformation authentically, instead of primarily from ego.
How to get it done properly?
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
― C.G. Jung
In order to boost your self-esteem, there are certain changes you can implement that can greatly aid in the process. If you find yourself still giving excuses for making necessary changes, you can seek professional help. In case you don’t have time, consider online counselling as a valid option.
Take care of your body and mind. By honoring your physical health, you can improve your self-esteem. Give up on junk food that you’ve been beating yourself about for so long. Grant yourself enough sleep and stop staying late. Make small shifts towards enhancing your health. Eat a balanced diet and exercise regularly. Even wearing clean clothes can improve the image you have of yourself.
Avoid perfectionism. Perfectionism can be destructive by paralyzing you from taking action because you think you can’t live up to a certain standard. Eventually, you procrastinate and don’t get anything done. Instead, go for good enough, but give your best and don’t slack off. Also, make reality checks and don’t daydream of perfection so much, because it can crush your expectations, and harm you and the people around you.
Always do the right thing. And by the “right thing”, we mean the thing that you feel is right deep down. This is not always easy to do, but keeping your focus on it and giving your best can make a big difference.
Self-esteem is important for your well-being. Don’t look at the world thinking that everyone is better at everything than you. Everyone is good at something, and you shouldn’t think negative about yourself. The decisions you make should be more mindful. Stop putting more stock in what others think. Give yourself a two-minute break for mindful thinking, to see what you want the outcome of your actions to be. Take time to think about what is best for you, and it will help you build your confidence and self-trust.
Isabel F. William proud mom of twin-boys, dedicated to Body&Mind balance. Lover of literature and philosophy, every day runner, and Tai chi master. Believing that to travel sometimes is just enough to enjoy a really good book, smooth jazz and a cup of coffee.
SheSociety is a site for the women of Australia to share our stories, our experiences, shared learnings and opportunities to connect.