Adulting at 31 by Amanda Goddard

November 16, 2016

Some days you wake up knowing that life is going to change.  Yesterday for me, I had one of those days.  I wasn’t sure how it was going to play out, usually my intuition guides me through these types of scenarios, and I usually know how I am going to react or i’ll play it out in my head before it happens.  Yesterday I didn’t, I had no intuition guiding me or a gut feeling to go by.

Yesterday I realised that my special person, the one person that understands me the most, won’t be around forever.  The one person that will always hold the walls together when they look like tumbling down, the one that buys you a spare tyre for your car knowing the one in the back of yours is punctured and you won’t get around to getting one yourself.  She’s the one that cooks meals, freezes them and sends them home with you knowing you won’t cook for yourself.  She is the one that listens to all your silly little problems, talking you through them, even though her problems at your age were dealing with the death of a husband and bringing up a small child on a minimum wage.

She is the one person in the world that understands your moods, your humour, she gets your wit and thinks you are the most beautiful girl in the world even when you have a four day hangover from a massive weekend.  She buys you things that you don’t even know you need until she gives it to you.  She rings you to ask how to upload a picture to Instagram, every day.  You can sit with her for hours talking about anything and everything and never get bored. She is the one person you can be honest with about anything and know that what you talk about stays between her four walls.

Yesterday my Nanna became mortal, she isn’t magic and I realised that cancer doesn’t discriminate and it actually isn’t fair.  My Nanna may not ever see me purchase my own house or see me meet the man of my dreams. She may not ever see me walk down the aisle to get married, or give birth to my first child.  She may not ever get to attend my baby’s first birthday or see me achieve my dreams that we had discussed since I could talk. She will however have me standing by her side every step of the way through her cancer journey and giving her back all the time she has given me over the last 31 years.

Yesterday, I became a 31 year old granddaughter who realised life is real and it isn’t a fairy tale.  Yesterday I think I finally became an adult.


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