Rochelle Borton, Founder of Influencers, On Balancing Motherhood and Business.

Regardless of how you choose to structure your family vs. work time, or the choices you make regarding the type of work you will pursue outside of the many roles as mum and family member, being a working mum can be difficult. When you are in the middle of it, I don’t think you even have the time to consider the layers of difficulty because most of the time you are just forced to “get on with it”. I am certain this is where the very best of problem-solving skills are developed.

As children grow and become more independent their needs are different and ever changing too. Being a mother to 6 teenagers is complex and given they all have unique and varied needs I find myself often wondering how I am going to fit everything in. In fact, just today as I plan for an overseas work trip, I have spreadsheets and tables set up, as I message family members and friends to make sure all bases are covered before I jump on the plane. Who is taking the youngest to school? Who will do the soccer run? Have I left enough food? enough money?

Now for some people reading this, they may think to themselves, “How can she leave her kids?” (again!) “Where is her husband?” “What about their safety? Their wellbeing?” “Is this irresponsible? Neglectful?” And the clincher… “It is Mother’s Day weekend… those poor kids!”.

The reason I know these are the queries on the lips of others is because it is not the first time I have been asked, or told, and over the years I have developed the thickest of skins to all kinds of judgemental responses. Despite others imposing their mum guilt onto me I was always a working mum and it was very much my preference. Being at home full time with kids wasn’t really something I aspired to do and I always found value and reward in keeping up some kind of connection with work.

As a seasoned working mum, I am constantly asked about how I balance the needs of my family and children and my work. In fact, as a leadership coach, it is the number one goal for working mothers I speak with and they often think given my own life circumstances perhaps I have advice about what works best. The very first thing I tell them is to forget about what they think everyone else thinks, the only person that is really impacted by the time spent worrying about the judgment of others is you. Drop the expectations you feel others are imposing on you, as it only robs you of the joy you can experience both at home and work. Just because you enjoy work or have to work for financial reasons doesn’t mean that you don’t love your kids. Honestly, I was a mum who preferred my time at work – being a mum was and is so hard and let’s face it – the rewards can be few and far between, especially when kids are little.

I started my company, EduInfluencers, 8 years ago now while kids were still in primary school, at the time it was all about balance and maximising my time with them, as it made sense for our family and care arrangements at the time. It meant I could do school pick ups on occasions, and make afternoon tea – and those times both the kids and I remember fondly. Now as times have changed and their needs have too, I think they appreciate that I wanted to “take back”  some of what I felt I lost over those many years of balancing life, work and family and I threw myself into building my little empire. I don’t always have the ability to give my kids time like I used to, but now I give them a mum who models that hard work means a fabulous, full and inspired life. My kids are all chasing big dreams for future employment, work and study and in part that is because they have seen what their mum has achieved when you make plans, have dreams and chase them down.

My advice to others, don’t follow anyone else’s path or advice for your family and work situation, forget about what anyone else thinks, get comfortable with knowing that when you are excelling in one area of life, you are probably failing in another. Be organised and give yourself permission to get take away any day it makes sense.

Written by Rochelle Borton