With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it’s nice to be planning a little something special for your loved ones. But often we do what we would like, not our loved one. When you consider your lovers “love language” it can make ie easier to ensure your gift is a hit!
The Five Love Languages has taken the word by storm, in the book written by Gary Chapman (1992). It provides a framework for how to consider how we show affection and also how we would prefer to receive it. This can help improve our understanding of the words and behaviours of those close to us, and also gives us an insight so we can foresee how a gift or outing may be received.
What are the Five Love Languages?
According to Dr Chapman the five Love Languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
These categories help to guide us to identify our own preferences and also identify those of our intimate partner. Dr Chapman suggests we have one main preference, with another secondary one. If these are different to your partner, that is where the friction in a relationship can stem from.
Knowing your partner’s love language can help guide you to the perfect Valentine’s day “gift”.
Words of Affirmation gift
If your partner’s primary love language is words, then you can make a handmade card with a heartfelt note or quote. Even if you prefer not to express your feelings with spoken word, written words will also do the trick when it comes to Valentine’s Day.
Acts of Service gift
The “Acts of Service” love language can be tricky for Valentine’s Day as it’s about doing something for someone else. Maybe you could work on a household project together (time to declutter the linen cupboard?) or offer to do a task that you usually leave for her to do.
Receiving Gifts love language is the perfect fit for Valentine’s Day but it doesn’t need to be expensive. A thoughtful gift will also be appreciated; consider getting a photo printed and framed of a family memory or significant event. You could personalised a box to store memorabilia and ephemera for a significant event, like saving the birthday cards from an “0” birthday!
Quality Time gift
Valentine’s Day ideas for Quality Time love language may require a little scheduling but planning time together will always pay off. Try a picnic in the backyard or local park, with phones off and the kids busy on the play equipment or on the trampoline.
Physical Touch gift
In addition to quality time, let’s set aside time for a massage or simply cuddle time to fulfil the physical touch gift.
Knowing the love language of yourself plus those closest to you can prevent many misunderstandings form your Valentine’s Day gesture, especially when communication seems to be going astray. By considering love languages when thinking about Valentine’s Day your gift is sure to be met with appreciation.
SheSociety is a site for the women of Australia to share our stories, our experiences, shared learnings and opportunities to connect.