Prominent news reporter Tara Brown of 60 minutes has recently separated from her husband. She showcased her new love, veteran news producer Gareth Harvey to her friends after separating from her husband of 17 years, John McAvoy. Moving out of their shared home and leaving her husband with their sons, Jack 9 and Tom 7.
There are vast opinions on the topic of women leaving their children with their husbands, some may think it’s selfish and others may consider it a double standard. It’s common for a husband to leave their children with their wives without question so why can’t women? There are many reasons behind their choices and the most important consideration to make is for the wellbeing of their children.
As told to news.com.au, back in 2010, twelve years after marrying her husband, Melissa Collins made the hardest decision of her life.
Desperate not to lose her two sons, who were six and seven at the time, Melissa made a life decision that left her “traumatised”, but honoured her ex-husband’s wishes.
She moved away to Brisbane, and left her boys with their father in country Queensland.
“My husband had the more stable career, and being with him meant the kids would stay in the same school, around the same people, and I thought that was more important and they should stay with him.”
Asking for their mummy to “come home”, Melissa said there was no way she could go back — because to her, “it was impossible to stay married for the sake of the kids” and live a life of unhappiness.
“As a woman and a mother, your damned no matter what you do,” she said.
“If I said I was going to stay married for the sake of the kids, or if I said I’m leaving because they are better off with their father, people are shocked either way.
“My ex-husband and I came to the understanding that he would have the hardest job, and I have the saddest one.”
Losing some friends and family members in the process, Mrs Collins said revealing her situation to strangers made her realise just “how cruel women could be” to one another.
“I was crying on my kitchen floor all the time,” she said.
“When I started talking to others about my decision, and about how my sons lived with their dads, women would respond and say ‘I love my kids too much’ or ‘I could never do that and leave my kids’. The judgment got to a point where I stopped talking about it because I had such shame.
“The questions like ‘what kind of mother does that’ and ‘what kind of woman does that’ is really hurtful.”
“I get judged and cop a lot for doing what I did, but you have to make the best of it.
“What I did was right for me and my children, and if you really love your kids, you will do what is right for them.”