Relationship Hacks: Why Cooking Together Can Keep The Fire Burning

June 6, 2024

Successful couples do things together, even when those things aren’t that great. Cooking is a classic example!

According to Elizabeth Jane, relationship longevity requires hard work and a commitment to do things together, even when those things may not always work out. The key is to make the effort. Cooking is a classic example.

Elizabeth Jane, respected wellbeing and mindfulness keynote speaker, relationships’ coach and mentor, celebrated artist and author of Amazon best-seller ‘Free and First – Unlocking Your Ultimate Life’, shares some tips to help people consider the benefits of doing things together such as cooking.

Jane experienced a sudden and traumatic divorce after 25 years of marriage and during her difficult and life changing journey of rebuilding her life and finding her new path, she journaled the process translating her insights and learnings into a highly sought-after self-help book.

Jane now speaks all over the world and shares her insights and tools on how to survive and overcome difficult and challenging life experiences as well as how to find joy, and in the process, rediscover yourself.

“I have spoken with many people over the last few years and one theme has emerged that is really interesting.   Couples that cook together, stay together – even if the meals aren’t that great at times,” Jane said.

“The key is to cook together and enjoy the experience.  Couples who cook for each other often enjoy better relationships, even if the meals don’t always work out.  It’s about the experience and bonding.”

Jane outlines the benefits of cooking together.

Quality time together

“Cooking together provides an opportunity to spend quality time with each other away from devices. It allows couples to engage in a shared activity, which can strengthen their bond and create lasting memories,” Jane said.

Teamwork and collaboration

“Preparing a meal requires coordination, communication and cooperation. This fosters teamwork and helps couples develop a sense of partnership, which is essential for a healthy relationship,” Jane emphasized.

Enhanced and open communication

“Cooking together necessitates talking about plans, recipes and preferences, which can improve overall communication skills. Discussing and resolving issues in the kitchen can translate into better communication in other areas of the relationship,” Jane said.

“It also helps you learn more about your partner including their food and taste preferences.”

Mutual appreciation

“When couples cook for each other, it shows care and effort. This act of service can make each partner feel valued and appreciated, enhancing their emotional connection,” Jane added.

Reduced stress 

“Sharing the responsibility of meal preparation can alleviate the stress associated with cooking and household chores. It can also turn what might be seen as a mundane task into an enjoyable and bonding experience,” Jane said.

Creating traditions

“Cooking together can lead to the creation of special traditions and rituals. These shared experiences contribute to a sense of unity and continuity in the relationship,”

“Tuesday nights can become pasta night, Thursday night can be Thai.  You can create some fun regular experiences for each other that become domestic date nights!”

Learning, growth and fun

“Cooking can be a learning experience and doing it together allows couples to grow and discover new things about each other and themselves. This shared growth can bring them closer,” Jane said.

“You can also have a lot of fun together, working through things that turn out to be delicious and not so fabulous.  It also allows for experimentation and risk taking in a safe and relaxed environment.”

Healthy lifestyle

“Couples who cook at home often eat healthier, which can lead to improved physical well-being. A healthier lifestyle can positively impact mood, energy levels and overall relationship satisfaction,” Jane said.

“Making a concerted effort to avoid packaged foods and only eating fresh is an excellent way to improve overall health and wellness.”

Sensory experience

“Cooking and eating together engages multiple senses, creating a rich and enjoyable, mindful experience. The smells, tastes and visual appeal of food can enhance the pleasure of being together,”

“There is nothing like enjoying the fruits of your hard work together!”

Expression of love

“Cooking for someone is a tangible way to express love and affection. It’s an act of nurturing and providing, which can strengthen emotional bonds,” Jane said.

Conflict resolution

“The kitchen can serve as a low-stakes environment to practise problem-solving and conflict resolution skills. If disagreements arise while cooking, couples can learn to navigate them calmly and cooperatively,” Jane said.

“It is a great way to learn how to resolve differences while having some fun.”

Celebrating together

“Successfully preparing a meal together gives couples a sense of accomplishment and something to celebrate. These small victories can boost relationship satisfaction,” Jane said.

“Celebrating wins together is important.   Cooking together and cooking for each other provides the scope to do this.”

Jane emphasised that the act of cooking for and with each other can enhance various aspects of a relationship, from communication and teamwork to appreciation and shared joy. It transforms a routine task into a meaningful and bonding activity.

Open and authentic communication in a fun, playful environment, where both partners needs are respected, allows relationships to strengthen and flourish. Jane discusses the art of empowered communication in her book, ‘Free and First – Unlocking Your Ultimate Life’.

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