Mother & Daughter as children
(L: Marie Metcalf nee Dunham my mother R: Ruth Greening nee Dunham)
On every Mother’s Day I say to myself “Happy Mother’s Day Mum, I miss you”. For many of us, our mothers and grand mothers are not with us anymore. Memories and photographs are all we have and that I appreciate, for I know not everyone had a mother like mine.
There is no picture-perfect scenario on Mother’s Day. Some will be grieving over the loss of their mum, others may not have a great relationship with their mother, some maybe struggling to conceive to become a mum or the unimaginable, they have lost a child. It can be a bitter sweet day for many.
It means that not all of us will have our children by our sides to share the day, more-so as they turn into adults. Life does not guarantee they will be with you on Mother’s Day as they celebrate with their own children. Now as a grandmother, Mother’s Day is not about me but about being grateful I have children and grandchildren who are healthy and happy. That is my gift.
So for those mothers and grandmothers whose family are not close by on Mother’s Day, how do we celebrate being a mother without that feeling of sadness creeping in?
In last year’s article for She Society I made this comment: On Mother’s Day I embrace the gratuitous gift of children and grandchildren even though we are not as one family in the one state. It is never ideal but my mother would say “you have to make the most of what you have”. This year it will be the same, celebrating Mother’s Day alone with positive affirmation.
I am forever grateful that our mother (and our father) taught us to deal with life, be proud of who we are, not be judgemental, care for others, be patient when others need it, embrace people from all walks of life and be open minded.
But most of all I remember my mother loved me unconditionally. It is for this reason I get on with life and give myself a treat to celebrate motherhood on Mother’s Day.
These are a few options to embrace Mother’s Day alone:
- Prepare a lovely breakfast for yourself, sit outside in the fresh air or have breakfast in bed
- FaceTime, ring or text message your children/grand children
- Send photos back and forth to your children
- Catch up with friends in similar position
- Lunch at a nursery then buy yourself a plant or flowers
- Watch a movie either at the cinema or home
- Reflect on special times with your own mother
- Bake yourself a cake for afternoon tea
- Light a scented candle, play your favourite music
- Set up a monthly FaceTime date with your children (not an easy task)
- It is your choice how you wish to spend Mother’s Day alone
For most mothers all we really want is time to connect with our children and living away from each other creates its challenges. In this day and age, I find it increasingly difficult to have a meaningful conversation with my children. It’s not their fault, they are parents too. Their days are hectic, managing their own demands, work, house-work, children’s out of school activities, social life with friends. They are exhausted at the end of the day a brief phone call has to suffice.
But sometimes we just need to chat about nothing for that feeling of connection. This is what I miss more than anything with my mum, not hearing her reassuring voice. For someday when our house becomes quiet, we will have no mother to talk to.
Conversely I may be on my own for Mother’s Day, but I will not be alone.
Happy Mother’s Day
On the birth of her two grandsons, Ruth Greening experienced an awakening in her life and entering Gen GP (Generation Grandparent) she was given the moniker Nanny Babe as her ‘grandmother’ title. She found things had changed since her child rearing days, and an adjustment to new parenting concepts was required. Hence the birth of the Nanny Babe blog from a baby boomers perspective.
Ruth holds a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology & Philosophy, completing this degree while working as a hairdresser and supporting her two children as a single mother. Ruth has worked in the corporate world for approximately thirty years and has recently retired to address her artistic passions.
She is experienced in senior management positions, marketing, modelling, commercials, film, community radio and writing.
Nanny Babe is active with her hobbies—fitness, writing, blogging, jewellery, crafts, singing, dancing, memoirs, mentoring and now faces diversity and self-discovery on her recent ‘retirement’ path. Connect with Nanny Babe on her blog – hit the link above!